Looking for yourself

Sources close to SWMBO were amusing themselves by entering their name into Google, along with "needs". Not to be outdone, I dipped my toe into the pond as well. "Duncan needs" brought the following results, among others:

• mental evaluation
• a haircut
• ample social stimulation
• an out-of-county jury
• Better Lawyers
• no explanation
• to wake the f**k up

The sobering thing is that many of these are, or have been, true to some extent. The best, however, is probably:

• Duncan needs to take a lesson from the immature kids like Dwight Howard and put on a Superman cape

Now, show me someone who wouldn't benefit from doing just that, and I'll show you someone who has grown up, poor sod!

Over to you now; go and find out what you need, then share it here. Also works with "XXX eats", XXX looks like", and so on.